If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
