Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
