420 ftw
Apparently you make a good broom.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
