God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
