i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
MIDGETS
????
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize