You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
