Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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