I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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