GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
