Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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