I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
