when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
