So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
this is an emotional support booty call
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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