So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
