I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
