After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
