Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
