How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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