i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
