I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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