P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
