Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
