Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
