if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
