ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Never underestimate the power of titties
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
