We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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