I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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