If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
