come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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