I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
