my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I love having hate sex.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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