the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
