girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
