i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
