i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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