hotel room ftw
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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