Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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