1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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