i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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