Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
