I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
