I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
