hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize