Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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