The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
