? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Welp...herpes.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
