i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
