12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
