I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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