Soap is not a condiment
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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