He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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