I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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