i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
