No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Girls should come with a carfax report
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
