addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
