So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
