I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
