we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
