I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
