OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
