i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
