Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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